So my third BraveAsFuck action was a spontaneous trip to throw my wedding rings in the Falls of Clyde-a place where I briefly lived with my second husband. As I was painting my kitchen yesterday in Glasgow, I was listening to Jen Sincero's awesome audio-book, You Are A Bad Ass which talks of making conscious decisions to move on.
I intuitively knew what to do with the rings that were sitting in my drawer waiting for 'a significant ending moment' . I quickly finished up the painting (a task which always starts off fun then just is n't), got changed into my running gear and headed out (bumping into my ace neighbour on the way to the car for an unexpected, lovely chat about Eckhart Tolle and his wisdom including that people love at their level of consciousness!).
Arriving at New Lanark, I ran along the quiet, upper wooded paths hidden from others, with the roar of the waterfalls in the distance. I ran past the spot where he proposed at the top of the forest. I ran past the spot where we drank champagne beside the fast flowing water to toast our engagement whilst I screamed excitedly at passersby-"We Got Engaged".
I ran past the badgers hide-out deep within the nature reserve where we took my step-daughter when she was 10. I stopped for a short meditation in the wooded silence and to call my step-daughter (now 20) for a check-in, to congratulate her on recently gaining a drama degree, arranging to meet soon (when the beer gardens opened properly!). I told her what I was doing and she congratulated me on this way to gain closure-I sent her photos of the beautiful falls we used to visit.
Immersing myself in the woods and the waterfall meant that I was in a pretty blissed out state by the time that I had reached the end of the track-with a view directly over the falls into the rushing, swirling waters below. Throughout my run, I had whispered thank you-thank you for the relationship (in all it's fierce, beautiful richness despite its traumatic ending) with my soon to be former husband, thank you for my continuing relationship with my awesome step-daughter, thank you for the wisdom and love I received from my mother-in-law (who in-fact introduced me to Eckhart Tolle), thank you for these experiences with these humans which have brought me to this point in my life.
And I made an active choice that from now on gratitude would be my story about this marriage as I actively chose to fully close the door on it. I threw the rings purposefully into the water. I messaged my friend, Shelly-she replied immediately "onwards into your bright wonderful future, free to be who you truly are", gorgeously reflecting my discovery of this true self. I replied that I felt "luminous and brave as fuck".
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