Continuing to feel the initial hellishness of vulnerability and being Brave As Fuck by making a video about our lockdown Gardening Posse. Video made for From Home project of Tom Ottway, artist, researcher and friend of my fabulous friend, Lucy. Project is asking people to consider their views of home during lockdown in 3 minute creative clips for the Brighton digital festival in October 2020.
I had sent Lucy random video clips of our Gardening Posse during Lockdown-of us talking nonsense, uproarious laughter and of our blooming flowers. The G Posse was started by me and neighbour, Jen to try to recreate the beauty and love which past neighbours had invested in the garden.
So we enlisted the help of upstairs neighbour, Robin who quickly became Posse Gaffer due to his strong 25 years allotment experience. We have met every week during lockdown, rehauled the garden, planted and grown some beautiful flowers, had some awesome tea and cake and created our own piece of home.
My video was FAR too long at 11 minutes (must start reading instructions) and too long to upload here. Serious edit required.
In the unedited version I do an upbeat take on the forming of the G Posse and a wee tour around the garden.
When reflecting upon its meaning of home to me, I become emotional towards the end. I fill up with tears because for me home means connection and at a time I was n’t able to be with my family and friends, the Gardening Posse meant connection.
So my Brave As Fuck action was not in making the video (though that is pretty awesome!). For me, the courageous act has been in sharing that video with the Gardening Posse.
My vulnerability in the video made every ounce of me want to not share it-I felt the familiar physical resistance. Which is exactly why I had fucking share it. These feelings are my inner guide to challenge this fear so that I can live a bigger, braver, more open hearted life. So I shared the goddamn clip!
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