I was recently introduced to a quote by the wonderful author, poet and philosopher, John Donaghue urging that 'we may always look for the beauty of our lives'. Last night, I experienced a profound awareness of the beauty of my life.
I had spent a quiet evening reading and tidying up. I hummed to myself as I moved about the flat. Just before I went to bed, I reflected on how I was feeling and realised it was a feeling of overwhelming present moment contentment.
I recently read an article (Pavlovich, 2007) on reflective journalling which argues that there is a guiding force that assists our life's journey if we listen to our inner voice and act with integrity. And that this can only happen when we become mindful and aware of our everyday actions.
I believe that I committed to listening to my inner voice after a cold, wet February night this year as I stood on a bridge on the river Clyde in Glasgow for a long time and contemplated jumping into the fierce flowing water below me. I did not know it then but I did not want to end my life. I now know that I just wanted to to end the life where I was not living as my true, authentic self.
Over the next few days, I made the decision to go back to therapy to explore the voice that took me onto the bridge. Last night, I whispered into the sanctity of my flat-thank you, thank you, thank you-for befriending that voice and getting to know the beauty of my life.
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