Today, I had a work zoom call. It was an initially really inspiring call with some one who I respect and admire. We spoke about various work stuff before I mentioned the article that I had been writing. I had been feeling inspired about writing this though had still to finish it.
I had written a short brief about it. My brief included the focus on our collective vulnerability and positive connection within my area of work during lockdown. I planned to use positive examples of work within our agency and other third sector agencies. I told them that I planned to call it either Brave New World or Courage Over Comfort. This person said I would need to reference Aldoux Huxley and they preferred the last title.
Yet I felt myself tense. And started to downplay the whole article. I stopped looking at my notes which had demonstrated my commitment to what I was writing. I started saying that I was only writing it because our agreed writer for this month was not able to do it. I felt myself start to downplay myself. I felt myself making myself smaller.
And for the rest of the morning, I felt uneasy. Yet I was n't able to articulate this feeling. Then by the magic of synchronicity, I read a daily blog by Seth Cordin. This guy publishes a blog a day of meaningful work. I see him as a person of great integrity who has inspired me in my own commitment to 100 days of brave as fuckness and to create meaningful, open-hearted work.
Yesterday's blog described how our Spidey senses start to tingle when some one offers us "feedback" as this is not part of a warm and fuzzy feeling. That "advice is better" as if you ask some one for advice, you are engaging them in your journey. And I realised that I had effectively handed over my power by making some one else's opinion matter more than my own. And the uneasiness that I was feeling was my own tingling Spidey senses.
But the blog suggested that Peter Shepherd's 'noodling' over an idea is the best of all so we can be sure that no-one is going to be injured. Noodling is based on the analogy that chefs are masters of honing their skills by making the same dishes hundreds of times. They are human, they make mistakes, they have days where they feel uninspired. Despite this, they show up, they practice and they serve. Again and again and again.
Peter Shepherd reflects that what if we gave the same level of attention to the human skills of listening, empathy, generosity and care? What might be possible if we showed up to practice them every single day? How might that change the work we do, the posture we carry and the connections we make? True brave as fuckness.
And my uneasiness lessened as my commitment to open-hearted living increased. I was able to have empathy and generosity for myself. I realised that if I had told this person how vulnerable I felt, she would have had the opportunity to respond with kindness and care. Next time. #ilovenoodling #inspirationofothers #braveasfuck.
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