I have just made a decision to press pause on Lunch Space-the lunchtime mindfulness group I founded to create more mindful, kinder work spaces. Starting the MSC mindfulness at the weekend has made me consciously aware of my incompetence in leading mindfulness practices with others.
This is based on the fabulous Conscious Competence model of learning that I use with social work students when they are on placement. The four stages suggest that when we are learning a new skill, we are initially unaware of how little we know-we are unconsciously incompetent. The next stage is where we start to become consciously aware of our incompetence-we start to know what we don't know. As we consciously acquire a skill, we then consciously use it. Eventually, the skill can be utilised without it being consciously thought through; we are said to have then acquired unconscious competence.
The conscious incompetence stage is one of the most difficult stages to exist in as we become fully aware of what we don't know and have yet to learn. This stage usually hits several weeks into a placement or in my case on the last day of the online retreat.
It is a stage which can cause deep anxiety. I had felt this anxiety a few months ago and questioned my competence in leading a group. I love this group (which I switched to online during lockdown) and struggled with this decision. However, I knew it was the right decision the moment that I made it because I felt a sense of peace and a sense of integrity. #authenticity #integrity #braveasfuck.
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