In therapy last night with Laura, we spoke about how individuals in my work life represent individuals from my family. So I have tended to replay these relationships, slipping into people pleasing child mode with them.
As we spoke, I had a realisation of how limiting this is for everyone concerned. I limit the opportunities for growth in all of these relationships, past and present.
I also realise that throughout my life, difficult work relationships have offered me the opportunity to look at this pattern. Except I have not been ready.
My recent job application now feels like a reactive attempt to resist exploring and healing these relationships. The many different jobs in my life suddenly show me the ways that I have consistently resisted these opportunities for growth and healing.
In his epic book, 'The Power of Now', Eckhart Tolle highlights that 'relationships are not here to make you happy, they are here to make you conscious'. That with the acknowledgement of disharmony in relationships, there comes a freedom from them.
And that all we can create a space for transformation to happen within these relationships, for grace and love to enter. We can hold every moment, hold the knowing of that moment, particularly of our inner state. If there is an inner child demanding love and attention, or emotional pain of any kind-know the reality of that moment and hold the knowing.
If we react, we become unconscious ourselves. If we remember to know our reaction, nothing is lost.
I have been compelled to keep watching Eckhart's interview with Russell Brand all week as though I have needed his particular wisdom.
He has urged that humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is our only chance of survival as a race. This will affect every aspect of our lives and close relationships in particular. Never before have relationships been as problematic and conflict ridden as they are now. Because they are not here to make us happy or fulfilled but to make us conscious.
If we accept this, we will align with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into this world #holyfuckingshit #evolvingplanet #braveasfuck.
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