So day 23 of my brave as fuck blogging and as well as slightly wishing I had opted for like 30 days rather than committing to 100, I am noticing that the deeper I go, the deeper I want to stay. Surface level is becoming unfulfilling and I want to keep diving deeper.
I visited my auntie over the weekend with my mum and generally the chat would have stayed surface. In the two years since I have separated from my husband I have not directly spoken to my auntie about it. Obviously, she is fully briefed of events as my mother is the primary conduit for all immediate and extended family news. Which means that we have managed to remain completely surface for the last two years. I also know my auntie adores me, she just does n't know how to bring it up and neither have I.
The same thing happened when I found out I could n't have kids. This came after a series of painful medical tests which you can't tell anyone about the way that you would when you usually go to hospital. I was living in Argyll near all of my family at the time and no-one wants to bring it up with you in-case they upset you. Like everyone who is experiencing loss and grief, it hurts anyway. I am just realising that it might just hurt a bit less if you can talk about it.
Except yesterday I found myself following my auntie into her kitchen. "I know you know' I said 'and it is two years ago but I just wanted to say that we broke up, it was really hard, unexpected and painful but I am really ok now". She hesitated (corona hesitancy) then pulled me into a massive hug. Like a gorgeous massive hug #mytruth #auntiesarelovely #braveasfuck.
Comentarios