I have just NOT taken responsibility for something and recognised that it is NOT my fault. I resisted the urge to dive in and get involved. I turned off my phone so I would not message back straight away and offer to try to fix it.
I did seek the counsel of my mother. This is not your responsibility, Cath, you don't need to do anything here, she stated. I resisted the strong urge to repeatedly talk to her about it, to keep seeking reassurance. You get a limited window with that sort of shit with Moira anyway before she sighs and cuts you off mid-sentence to tell you a Mass/priest/cat related story (if you are able to develop a thick skin, this can be a very effective tool to prevent excessive rumination).
Yet by doing nothing, by not rushing in, I was able to recognise quite quickly that it is not my responsibility. I am not actually responsible for how another person acts or for their emotional labour. Oh wow. I think my healthy adult just took over from my six year self. Woop woop #letitbe #healthyadulting #braveasfuck.
Loving your saying, Joan. Bravo! 👏👏👏🥰
Aw Cath can truly resonate with this one, it's the most liberating feeling and the self pride you experience is second to none...even if it also leaves an unshakeable teeny pang of guilt, its still the right thing to do... Best to live with 99% of self pride and 1% of totally unfounded guilt id say...