Yesterday, I narrated a powerpoint on adult learning and emotional intelligence for one of our teaching programmes. I loved doing it. With a story telling type enthusiasm. I also figured out how to record and upload the video on zoom. I spent quite a bit of time on the whole thing.
I recorded it once as a dress rehearsal and then the for reals version. I was just contemplating a third recording when my email inbox pinged. It was a daily blog from Seth Godin, my blogging inspiration (written over 7000 short, meaningful blogs) with kick ass values. It was called the best available option. That’s not the same as perfect. The best available option is always available. Perfect almost never is.If you care enough to contribute, you can care enough to not wait for perfect.
I really cared enough to contribute-I had worked late on the content for two nights this week and had a ton of other work to get on with. So I shipped it to my co-worker. I did not wait for perfect. Then I went for a walk.
Later that afternoon, my co-worker got back to me. He said I had nailed it and there was just one small mistake. I felt my dual perfectionist/people pleasing engines start to fire up. I felt myself about to offer to do it again. Then Seth's wisdom came into my head. And the amount of other work I had to do. So I replied that would it be OK if that wee bit was just seen as authentic as I really did n't have time to redo it as I had a lot of work to do.
Ofcourse, my lovely co-worker was happy enough with that. Job done. Except it was n't. For the rest of the afternoon, I felt uneasy. I felt the paranoid discomfort which happens when I choose myself. When I don't just say yes even when I know saying yes is not going to work for me.
However, this time I was able to sit with my discomfort, with the anxiety and slightly clenched teeth which happens when I think I have not pleased some one. This time, I trusted that the discomfort of putting my own needs first would fade #becomingfree #wildheart #braveasfuck.
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